Today Abbigail received her IVIg transfusion, a few days late due to the critical timing of her chemo. Her CBC (complete blood counts) dropped significantly from only four days ago when she was here for round two of chemo, this was expected and necessary however was not expected so early I guess. I will be honest, nothing is really expected with Abbigail’s treatment and prognosis. We never know what to expect and we rarely know for sure how she will react to any given treatment. There are not many case studies, and of the ones that we do have to refer to, Abbigail has already been on their protocol and not responded adequately to stop or even slow down treatment. It is really frustrating as a mother to have to make all of these decisions and provide all of these details to the oncologists, the burden lays on me to make the “right call” for her life. This almost sounds ridiculous but true it is. Of course her doctor knows medicine and cancer treatment and all that non-mom stuff, but when it comes to OMS, there are no blood tests or bone marrow that can be aspirated to see if the disease remains active or not. Today was a an other reminder of how frustrating this disease is and how much it is hurting us all but Abbigail reminded me that it will not take us down. We lend ourselves tears and offer our shoulders to one an other when needed, but we also remind each other that we have more in our loving family than cancer, treatments, hospitals and OMS…we have Abbigail! We have William and Madden and each other.
This bright star has shown me what it is to love, to fight and to never give up…I will forever hold her high and remind her how inspirational she was and is…always!